Rockermoms RHYTHM

Keep It Simple.

Just remember, high stress = higher nurturing.

Whenever you have a high-stress day, counteract it with a higher-nurturing night.

Do something wonderful for yourself. It works!

Maintaining Safe Boundaries

The biggest part of boundary work is maintaining a boundary after you have set it. Here are some tips on dealing with how it feels to maintain boundaries when people don't always just accept them.


1. STAY WITH YOUR BOUNDARIES. "Good fences make good neighbors." Remember it is your right to define and uphold your boundaries.

2. MAKE A SAFETY PLAN. People will test your boundaries. It is important to plan ahead of time for what you will do when someone tests your boundaries. It can help to practice or role play your responses.

3. KEEP A RECORD. Log boundary tests, your response, what you felt, how you managed it, how you might manage it in the future.

4. VALIDATE YOURSELF. Use affirmations. Remember, you deserve the best, and part of the best is your boundaries being respected.

5. NURTURE YOURSELF. Remember, self-nurturing is a necessity, not a luxury. The higher the stress, the higher the nurture needs to be.

6. PLAN AND PRACTICE SAFE VENTING OF HURTS. Set time aside to vent. Plan for safe ways to vent (yelling into pillows, talking to an empty chair, pounding pillows) and spend the first few minutes establishing the theme or scene you are venting about. Then spend the middle portion focusing your venting on the primary hurts of the situation. Focus the last portion of venting on what ought to have happened, how you ought to have been treated and validating your worth. Journals are also a great way to vent.

7. LOOK FOR THE GIFTS. It may be that at first you will just feel upset. But as you establish a pattern of safe, non-harming responses and self-care, you will begin to notice special moments, insights, "AHA moments", beautiful new perceptions, new flashes of inspiration or good ideas.

REMEMBER, YOU ARE WORTH GOOD BOUNDARIES!